do something

So I want to do something, seems easy enough, but I am not sure what. I think I want to make a cement sculpture with found objects. I need to think this through though, where am I going to put it together and need to sketch an idea on paper first. Also, this language learning thing, I guess I will need to raise funds to travel after a while. I guess I need to start doing side jobs or selling stuff.....because my day job only pays the bills and nothing else. I guess Aug. will be my month of discovery, weighing my options, reading the dip. We will see how it goes.

Generally Speaking

I truly am blessed with my family, my friends, my job, my dog and other pets that are with me in present time. Sometimes it takes external forces to help me realize that I need to be proud of my accomplishments and what I have created as a whole. I also need to stay focused on being a positive human being. Whether that means I let people change lanes on the freeway in front of my car in traffic, smiling at someone at the supermarket when you know the other person is not having the greatest of days, or just plain on being a nice, polite person. This reminder of what is a growing process of myself, a current metamorphosis as you will, checks myself into reality from time to time. I can no longer be angry at the world and it's doings. It is what it is and it is up to me to help change at least my surroundings. So with this general mantra, I will try to be better at who I am and what I do...starting today.

Life is back to normal

Thank god, I have to say.  Too much running around was making my head spin.  Today, I relaxed at the Tidepools at Cabrillo National Monument.  It really is pretty out there, the kids made me nervous with the tides coming in and their need to go to the end of the cliffs and rocks in the area. We also had a lovely picnic out on the benches using our picnic basket resurrected from the rafters in our garage after a long slumber.  I did go to the mall in the evening to pick up my prescription, ended up buying not 1 but 2 Ed Hardy T-shirts.  They are so cool...I figure that I can have a t-shirt instead of the actual tattoo.  It probably will be safer, less painful and cost thousands less.   

COMIC-CON part deux

Today is my full on complete geek out day. I am prepared to bear the crowds, the lines, the weirdness in order to get my twenty pound book signed by one of my favorite music makers Tori Amos. So what am I expecting? Craziness and anticipation. Low blood sugar from not eating full meals. Hopefully, it will be a cool meeting and she will pose with my blythe doll that I will be taking photos of all over the floor before hand. I am doing this all again with my crowd hating family tomorrow as well. Thank you Tori, for getting me out and about, you will be so worth it.

UPDATE:

Went today and it was great, I met some great people to pass the time in the lines, got my mission accomplished, Tori Amos was pretty and wonderful. Respect to all who contributed to her comic book coffee table project. But never again will I go to such a mad house. Love the art, hate the crowd. Also, got to meet 'kelly' from the office...Too bad it was such crowded place, if something like that was at a smaller intimate scale, i would be down for it- as long as I am invited.

When you home is not your house

I am comfortable in my skin, I am comfortable at work, I make a decision and usually stick with it. I guess outside forces has made me think my home is not my house. I guess my home is my family yet I don't have a home that is my house. I am not sure what I want anymore. I can live in San Diego forever or I can sell my "house" and move elsewhere. I guess that seems drastic because I can just move somewhere else in San Diego, but really is it my house or is it just a bank borrowed house that will continue to be borrowed on forever. No pool in my future at all, unless I move to wherever life takes me. Economics has overtaken my soul in this world. Is this all worth it, just to know your assets dictate your life. I really need to think this over.

Adventures of the Week

This week is turned out to be a late one for me both Tues and Wed nights. Tuesday, I went to the Feist Concert at Humphrey's with Ed and it was a great concert. L. Feist was engaging with the audience and added a rebellious streak to a notoriously conservative San Diego. The security did show their weakness of power, since they could not contain the drunk concert goer female dancing to the wonderfully harmonious tunes that drifted it's sound in the cool yet warm bay air. Funny as it seems, I was rooting for the concert goer for a moment, then started rooting for the security guard as the rusher's backs were in my face from the lack of 'cow herding' so to speak. A bit of anger went in the air when an otherwise peaceful looking fellow told Ed "why don't you shut up, after he told the peace fellow's girlfriend to sit down because her back was in our face and we could no longer see the stage from our "good seats". Not something to say to Ed. It was a weird brief moment of my life, where I let myself go and shouted "just sit the FU*K down and all will be good". No fighting is ever good, but in Ed's defense, be a bit sympathetic to those who couldn't get the good seats yet never take the motto the early bird gets the worm for granted.

COMIC CON PREVIEW NIGHT
I am not one to go to this, in fact, I felt a bit out of place with the geekiness in the air. My mission get to booth 2729 and purchase a place to get to be a foot away from Tori Amos on Saturday. I guess the first 20 people in line, turned in to the first30, and hour in that line, I was ok with that, what I wasn't was my lack of blood sugar from waiting and knowing that this event was a test on how patient I really am. I guess if you want something really bad, you can do it. I get the people with passion and maybe too much time on their hands to wait days for something. I wasn't quite that desperate but I did hold my patience and was granted the right to a coveted Tori Amos meeting, just for my brief under a minute signing, maybe sneak a photo or two. This beats the binoculared viewed concerts that I have faithfully attended for over the past twelve years here in San Diego. So after brief nice words from few of the comic artist collaboraters that worked on this project, one of which had beautiful etchings of his talents on hand for my admiration, I walked away with #2 of 500 of the limited print of the cover exclusive to the convention. I will still need to purchase my book for her to sign, but at least I am in. Now to get into the con. on Sat. with out bursting my patience bubble.
Here are some of my purchases:

It's Okay

All is well on the homefront, everyone went home. Friday nt., Saw Mamma Mia at the theatres, was a fun movie, singing not so great, but fun nevertheless, I love all the songs from ABBA. I relaxed around everybody on Saturday. It was fun and I enjoyed myself. I actually went to the gay pride parade for the first time in SD. Really a curiousity, on my part, and I didn't really sit and watch it was more like frantically walking and watching. Everyone there is so happy, it really was contagious. That made my weekend what it was.... On Sun., I watched Louie at my house and relaxed, which made for a good Sun. This week to come will be crazy for me. On top of work, I am going to see Feist with Ed on Tues. and comic con, not all 4 days but probably Wed. nt. Sat and Sun. Note to self: Pool plans are resurrected, not with the lame person.. more to come.

Awake and dreaming

Dreaming of being somewhere else, awake to be yearning of sleep. Putting thoughts to screen, wanting more but leaving to fate. I await and follow my journey to get to that place. I begin today, hopefully, I will get there someday. I will meet myself half way tonight with compromise.


Weekend to come
Another week gone by, need to focus on a few things personal and professionally. This weekend will be loud at my house but hopefully quiet inside my realm. I am glad that there are people having fun around me. I hope to do this in my own fruition. Peace out.

Santa Barbara/Santa Paula Weekend

Left Sat. Morn for Santa Barbara, total miles driven on Sat. 280 ish miles... Went to the 20th ann. French Festival. I am guessing I didn't win the trip to France, I didn't get a phone call to let me know I won. I did take Elise with me, with this I was privileged the car pool lane through LA and OC Counties. She actual wasn't bad, she slept in the car both ways. The French Festival was a typical festival except with French entertainment and food. Where else can you buy escargots at a street fair booth in America? There was Vietnamese food and corn on the cob as well. It was very cute. We got a drumstick ice cream, crepe with nutella and bananas (yum). and corn on the cob. Elise played on the inflatable slides. bounce house there and playground. I listened some french singers and watched traditional dances. Anyways, we stayed there for about 3 hours then drove to Heather(my cousin's) family's house in Camarillo where I crashed a family member's engagement party, from there Elise proceeded to make her self at home in their huge back yard, swimming, playing on their swing set, making "brown" lemonade, playing with the boys her age. Stayed at my cousin's house in Santa Paula overnight and ate brunch on Sunday and took a leisurely drive home. Sunday total mileage 210 miles, a little over 3 hrs. I get totally zoned when I drive long distances, so got to go to the destination, traffic wasn't too bad, just a few patches in LA but that was it. I definately can do weekends to the OC area, but it was long doing this drive to Santa Barbara. Got home a little after 4 pm. Did usual Sunday chores, took a nap and went to bed with another massive headache. I hate those headaches. Till my next weekend adventure at home. Au revoir...J

This upcoming weekend and general thoughts

Leaving in the morning to go to the French Festival in Santa Barbara. Then, I am going to my cousin's house to stay the night, then back to San Diego on Sunday afternoon. I am going without the family, the dog., just me and my inner thoughts.

All is well at home, our pool will be delayed till next winter (for the decision), since we already passed the "swim season", this will help us decide the "new pool" co. to deal with. We are not diving in blindly on this decision.

Kids are doing well, they are going to day camp and progressing into their own beings. They only depend on me these days for money and food, other than that they are self sufficient.

Summer is going by too fast. I can't believe it is the middle of July already. Weeks are flying by. I have a busy schedule in the next few weeks. More fun than work... which is nice for a change.

TV

Haven't been watching too much tv lately. I watched last Tuesday's abc gameshow's wipeout and the japanese game show show. Last nt., I watched the last bachelorette, show, even though I didn't watch any of them with the girl in in it. I just like to see who picks who at the end. It really is a double edged sword, that show. You find someone you like but have to parade your relationships on national tv. I feel bad for the other guy, but I have faith there is someone for him too. There is always someone for everyone, you just have to find it- what a painful process love can be. I still need to subscribe to Showtime and catch up on weeds and the diary of the call girl show.
TV is painless.

Weekends almost over

This long 3 day weekend is almost over, all my weekends seem to go by so fast. Today all I did was go to yoga, pick up my prescription and get my nails done. Yesterday, my friends came over in the evening and during the day I got a facial and took my nap. On the 4th, I sat around the house and then we went to see the fireworks not too far away at night. Other than that nothing else so exciting. Maybe taking a solo road trip next weekend, we shall see.

Things currently happening in my life


To pool or not to pool

Our pool guy we thought we were going to choose sucks, he won't return our calls and he is not all the promises that we thought we were going to get. I am glad we didn't sign with him, because if he doesn't call us back, that is not a good sign of good service for the future. So we are going to give our other bidder a try. We will see if Ed makes his head spin and scare him away or not (perhaps this is what happened to the guy I am not happy with right now). Regardless, we really aren't scary people to work with, we have simple tastes but require people to call us back when asked. Stupid first pool guy.

Retirement questions
Already? I am in my early 30s still, I just got out of my 20s (almost 3 yrs ago), yet Ed and I are talking retirement. I say live life and go with the flow. I can't count on SS and all the crap they give you when your 67 or 76 or 80. Hmmm.... sitting at home counting our budgeted stipends and getting bored out of our minds on tv and gardening, time will determine how old I will be and if we decide to actually retire.... That said, I would love to retire someday, I think Paris would be nice. Think of the possiblities. Live in Paris from April to July. July to March in SD. So many things to think about. Presently, I walk pass my daughter's day camp where it doubles as a rec center for seniors as well. I am not sure I wanna be that lady taking stretching classes in a smelly ol' gym. I wanna be the old lady strolling the Champs Elysees and eating at the cafe' with my little ol' lady ex-pat amies. Perusing the Seine and glazing at the Eiffel Tower from afar from our (Ed and I) little apt. in Montmarte or Marais or Rue Cler. How cool would that be?

Happy Anniversary to me
8 yrs. and counting. 8 is a big number it is more than 7 . I could of went to college/highschool twice. So 8 yrs. ago today, I got married in Paris ( the hotel in Vegas). Seems like yesterday, yet lots of times and things have gone by. I think I have went through 4 jobs, had another kid, gone through 2 cars, moved once, had about 7 big fights with ed (one a yr, I suppose it's healthy), went through a handful of pets (2 cats, 1 I still have, 2 pugs which I have sense relinquished, one maltese that died a week later due to complications of a spay) but currently have a lovely dog Stewie which is like my littlest child, numerous vacation destinations and a happy 8 yrs. so far of marriage. yay me.

Near Future

July= 4th of July=No plans, just to see Fireworks at Lake, Thinking about going to the French Festival in Santa Barbara next weekend. Going to Feist Concert in SD, Comic Con for the last day.
August= Do a trip at the end of that month to see folks and grandma's birthday.
Sept= My birthday which will be a non event
Oct- nothing much again but for my kids to dress up for their candy fix
Nov- Madonna concert and on the same day will know who our next president will be (Obama)
Dec- Christmas time, time again to be consumers of the retail nonsense they call Christmas. I would like it if they called it exchange your life with time with your family instead of exchange your money for presents for people you rarely see.

Starbucks is my friend
Ode to Starbucks...your white chocolate mochas are delicious, no one can make them like you. I wish people would lay off their hatred comments you. Granted you opened a store one on top of another at one time, it is ok to downsize a little when it comes to the economic weakness of our country. I get that there are competitors that hate you or try to undermine your costs of happiness. That is ok, your happy facade and cross promotion of books and cds are just a good mix of bliss in the morning. I am grateful you are my coffee store of choice. Your prices aren't high, except in Paris and London where I paid top dollar for the sweet, frothy taste of the coffee perfectly mixed with milk and white chocolate syrup. Yum

My weekend 

Last weekend was a productive one. Saturday, I went to Costco to buy things for the house, and to get ready for the get-together Ed is having for his video game buddies on the weekend of the 13th. Then I took my weekend nap, after that E and I went to Ross and Grossmont Center.  At Ross, I purchased some shoes, a green short-sleeved zip up top (ugly but she picked it out), and a Hannah Montana t-shirt.  At Grossmont Center, we made a b-line for Claires (E's favorite store) and she made out with spending my budget of $10 and the remainder of her allowance fund;total spendage: $40. After that, we got takeout at pickupstix (for Ed and I) and mcdonalds (for E).  

Sunday, I went to my yoga class, trip to trader joes for fresh food and then came home to the garage being gutted or organized or whatever you want to call it.  I proceeded to grab my favorite treasures that were buried under the junk rubble and moved the casualties to the Amvets place in our courtyard (UPDATE: which my cleaning lady proceeded to take on Tues nt.).  With my box of dvds, books, misc other goodies, I proceeded to make their new homes back inside my house.  After that ordeal, I made lunch for E and I and we went to feed the ducks at the lake, gave her and Stewie a quick bath and then took my afternoon weekend nap. After waking, I proceeded to do many loads of laundry and washing dishes.  Made the steak, corn I purchased earlier in the day, then called it a night.